You probably heard many times how important is not surrounding yourself with toxic people. But what defines a toxic person and what can you do about hanging out with one? Maybe I’m not an expert, but I would like to share with you my experience and the way I deal with it.
It’s not that the whole person is toxic. Rather their behavior is toxic or your relationships with the person is toxic.
Often the person is deeply wounded and for whatever reason, they are not yet able to take responsibility for their wounding, their feelings, their needs and their subsequent problems in life.
It’s common for people with toxic behavior to create drama in their lives or be surrounded by it, they try to manipulate or control others, they’re jealous, envious and extremely critical.
The worst thing about it is that both people play role in toxic interactions. So it’s important to consider your personal role as well. I had a bit luck, because it wasn’t about the relationship, only friendship.
As I had to do with the toxic person, I simply ran away from the problem. I broke up the contact and started living my life like nothing had happened. Was it right? I think so. I can hang out with whoever I want, I’m also free to break the contact, if I see that the friendship is created only by judgement, fear and blame.
First months were fantastic, I finally felt myself free from the toxic friendship, I was surrounded by great people who were giving me only positive vibes and almost forgot the whole situation until I met this person again.
It was unexpected for me and I haven’t got any plan how to run away again, I also knew that I can’t run away again from the problem. But facing it became even more terrible than I thought.
I find it totally sad, when the people who used to be very strong and happy in your eyes, became very fake, unsure and sad people, who try to cover their complexes by frightening others. I simply wanted to keep the first point of view, good memories and no hate – that’s why I didn’t continue the friendship.
But every single situation teaches us something new. Today I would react probably totally different. Now I know that you can’t just skip the problem and it’s better to explain how do you feel and why it’s like that, before you simply break the contact. It helps to leave the situation more clearly, provide rumors and anger.